Hello Tiffy!

I have been researching sleep paralysis and it is freaky. It affects a lot of people but it is terrifying. I know from experience.

Basically, it is what it sounds like. Rarely, but often enough to remember it vividly, I wake up suddenly, and can not move. I *move* but nothing happens. I actually try to scream, but nothing comes out. It is horrible! I would also explain it as the feeling of literally trapped in your own body. Sad to know some people live their lives that way…. but that is another issue for another day.

It almost sounds like it must be a dream, but it is definitely not a dream. The thing I am not sure about yet is why my eyeballs can move but I can not talk. I can look over and see my boyfriend sleeping there, or the tv in the background but I can not scream out for help. The scary thing is that I try and try. It only lasts for a few seconds, then I fall back asleep. It does cause me panic every time though. It is also frustrating because I panic inside but at the same time, I know it is happening again, and I am not in actual danger.

A very odd thing about it is I had my first sleep paralysis situation a few weeks after my mother died when I was 18 years old. I connected it then with some kind of spiritual thing (which is crazy because I am not spiritual at all). They continued, however, and if it was not for the internet I may have never known what was wrong with me. I read that it is more common in teenagers and it gets less frequent the older that you get. I remember explaining it for the first time to my ex boyfriend and he was like… really freaked out by the explanation. Well, with good reason, of course, but since he had never had them I guess I am special!

I tried Weight Watchers in the past and it worked… but counting points is bad because even when you reach a good weight you are going to stop the counting and then you can’t eat like a “normal” person (that was me!). Even though nowadays “normal” is fat kinda, isn’t that odd? Anyway, my point is, I am just trying to eat lots of salad. I really like salad. You can’t expect me to live on it, but I do really like it, but I am always tempted by bad stuff! Well J asked me to go to McD’s for him, and I stopped and got a salad from the store on the way. It was NOT easy cause I was starving. It worked out though. I suppose I do have willpower then don’t I? Well it is day 2 of eating salad for dinner and a lean cuisine for lunch. Oh and special k as a late night snack if I want one, cause I actually like special k. The chocolate one is really good! I am learning to like the Lean Cuisines as well. It really takes a while of trying before you find the ones that you like. I actually plan on posting mini-reviews of the ones I try here on this blog. There is a much better site that already does this: HeatEatReview - however that is them and this is basically for me so I remember which ones I like so I buy them again. After you’ve had a lot, you forget which one you hated that sounded good, then you get it again and go “OH YEAHHH! THIS ONE SUCKED!”

Elf Video

Grrr… Our slim Playstation 2 (AKA our DVD player) took a crap recently and it will not spin any more. It is pretty new, too! Like 3 years old, it shouldn’t have died already!

I would like to replace it with a Hello Kitty DVD player but I don’t think that I will be able to get away with that.

Grumblegrumble.

Last night, I went to San Francisco to go drinking with my friend N. We went to Butter, a red-neck trailer-trash themed bar. It was pretty dope ass. We drank a 32 oz High Life, they give you a paper bag to put around it so you are the true Mack Daddy. They serve many funny things including mac and cheese, tater tots, frito pie, etc. It is really quite a novel idea. We each had one of those 32 ouncers and then we head to ZeitGeist. I can’t say I loved Zeitgeist. It was not a bad bar exactly, but it is mostly outside. Rows and rows of benches. NO HEATERS! The place was packed and I was just surprised that this many people were at an outdoor bar with the temperature it was. I would guess it was 56 degrees. Brrrrrrrr!

We did have a good time drinking and BS’ing with random strangers sitting by us. That is my favorite part of going out drinking, meeting random drunks and for the hour they are your best friends. I got home at about 1 or 1:30 AM and I walk in thew door to find 3 of J’s friends and J playing Wii Bowling. They were not there much longer after I got home. I guess I was the party pooper.

I hope everyone’s dinner was good. Ours was very nice. We had so much food, and I can tell I am older because I just don’t pack it in like I used to, lol. However, I really love leftovers…I am enjoying a turkey and cheese omelet right now.

In a few hours it will be time for a turkey and cranberry sauce and  stuffing sandwich. I will probably make grilled turkey paninis for dinner later.

After dinner J’s friends came over and we all played Smarty Pants. The game is fun but considering it advertises 20,000 questions and you get repeats a lot of the time, it is pretty annoying. You also shouldn’t get it if you only have one controller because you can not save your progress if you play by yourself. When we get some more controllers, though, the competitive trivia part of the game looks a lot more fun and challenging. In that part, you are head to head with your friends and whoever buzzes in and answers correctly gets points.

As for today, I get to tackle the kitchen. Oooh goody. We used every dish and silverware piece in the house and we have a very compact dishwasher. I seriously would be hiding out somewhere if we didn’t have a dishwasher, hehe!

Hmm, all the blogs are doing it, I should join in. It is not easy, but why not? I thought about the question before I started writing this entry and I don’t know what to say. I suppose that I would like to say that I am thankful for my health, which is a pretty cliche thing to say. I am definitely thankful that I am not riddled with cancer, or in the hospital with a broken arm, or even sick today for that matter. I do have a health issue, and I guess I should say I am thankful that it is a relatively common health problem and I am thankful that I know what it is and that it should soon be resolved.

I am also thankful that I have a job. I recently changed jobs, which was very sudden and all is going well so far. That is definitely something to be thankful for. I am in a relationship with someone that I love, while we have our ups and downs, I am thankful that I am in a place of my own and while I may not have much financially, I can afford to have this roof over my head and someone to come home to after work. Actually I have 3 people to come home to, my babies and J, and t I couldn’t explain how good it feels to come home to them after a long day at work.

Maysie gets so excited to see me she almost pees, and Rocko gives me a comfortable acknowledgment that he always has when I get home. He lets Maysie steal the initial glory but he is mature enough to handle it and understand that she’s a baby and she needs her attention.

So that is what I am thankful for, this year at least, having an income when it is needed most in my life, a person that is there for me, and my two kids that will love me no matter what.

Work is quite lax today, so many people left early, I hate them! I am already craving beer at it’s only 3:50… I assume it is because it feels later and it already feels like the holiday now. We need to keep more beer at work. I have to run and get stuff for the green bean casserole after work I can only hope they are not sold out of everything by now.

This year should be an interesting Thanksgiving. We are having a stay at home Thanksgiving for the first time. J has a big family so they normally all get together for Thanksgiving and Xmas. Not to mention his birthday is the day after Xmas so it’s even more exciting for him. Well this year we are going to stay home and cook some food ourselves. I got all excited to make some food for us because I want to feel like I contributed. Then we realized that making stuff from scratch is like more expensive than buying it already made. And we are kind of low on finances right now. So, we got Thanksgiving in a box. It comes with almost everything you need, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, Turkey, vegetables and rolls.

I am contributing a homemade green bean casserole and J’s mom gave him a recipe for me to make some fruit salad with marshmallows. We are also having 3 pies, yes that is right, 3 pies between 2 people. Well J’s work has a cafe that will make homemade pies for people (for 8 bucks each). So we are getting a Pecan pie and a pumpkin pie from there. Then we get a pie with our thanksgiving in a box. So maybe we wil get an apple pie with that.
It is going to be a fun time. Maysie loves chicken, so I have a feeling she will really love turkey, which is good, because we will have way too much!

I am glad that I was told Word Press is the best blogging tool to use, it is so true! I have found like 18 million templates that I could use, for free. I am disappointed there are only 2 known Hello Kitty templates in existence, but I will probably get over that, since the other ones available are super duper friggin cute!

I am looking forward to Thanksgiving weekend so I can play with them some more. I also need to learn how to install them, Michael, my website admin (yes, I have a personal admin, I am lucky I knew him before he became Mr. Website Guy so he still hooks me up) will show me the ropes at some point. Times sure have changed since I had my old blog. Back then I had to do all the creating myself if I wanted something decently original.