I have been researching sleep paralysis and it is freaky. It affects a lot of people but it is terrifying. I know from experience.

Basically, it is what it sounds like. Rarely, but often enough to remember it vividly, I wake up suddenly, and can not move. I *move* but nothing happens. I actually try to scream, but nothing comes out. It is horrible! I would also explain it as the feeling of literally trapped in your own body. Sad to know some people live their lives that way…. but that is another issue for another day.

It almost sounds like it must be a dream, but it is definitely not a dream. The thing I am not sure about yet is why my eyeballs can move but I can not talk. I can look over and see my boyfriend sleeping there, or the tv in the background but I can not scream out for help. The scary thing is that I try and try. It only lasts for a few seconds, then I fall back asleep. It does cause me panic every time though. It is also frustrating because I panic inside but at the same time, I know it is happening again, and I am not in actual danger.

A very odd thing about it is I had my first sleep paralysis situation a few weeks after my mother died when I was 18 years old. I connected it then with some kind of spiritual thing (which is crazy because I am not spiritual at all). They continued, however, and if it was not for the internet I may have never known what was wrong with me. I read that it is more common in teenagers and it gets less frequent the older that you get. I remember explaining it for the first time to my ex boyfriend and he was like… really freaked out by the explanation. Well, with good reason, of course, but since he had never had them I guess I am special!