I’m on a roll with this blogging thing…

by Tiff on Jan.05, 2009, under Diet, Life, Work

I am feeling pretty good today…. Work was kind of dragged on for a while but I did the most emails last week and won a mug. Yayyy for me. Personally, all I can think about is moving forward in the company, I am so in need of a nice career - it is something a Tiff thrives on you know. The funny thing is, the mug that I won at work are the mugs I ordered during my last round working there about 1.5 years ago. I ordered this huge batch of Ee Ay mugs for the company picnic then I flew the coop to work at RD. So the funny part is I got the last remaining mug floating around. I wanted it back, dammit, it is like kind of sentimental to me, haha.

So lately I am still trying to focus on having a career back at Ee Ay. I am still there, doing something similar to what I was doing before, only now I am basically a perma-temp. It is a freakin weird feeling. I am doing a fine job but the benefits suck ass, I mean they really blow. I was going to get some better ones outside of the company, but, I have not gotten around to it yet. I keep hoping I can find a permanent spot there or sometimes I even look into other game company options. I am not really keeping my mind open for opportunities outside of the gaming industry right now. I feel like I really blew my shot when I left before and I have a scary internal paralyzing fear that I can not screw it up again. I really think there are many other industries I could settle working in. I just need to figure out what is it I really want, a good, interesting career or a career in games that will take a lot of time to get. (again). It usually isn’t even the industry that matters its just doing what you like and getting paid for it. Well right now I am doing that, but something is lacking.

In my current position I don’t feel that I can make enough positive changes. I was in a position before where my advice and knowledge was oft-requested, and now it is more difficult to offer my advice, not to mention no one seems to ask for it. I think the only difference is in my own confidence and courage as now I am on the other side of the fence. I am always arguing with myself to stay quiet or to be assertive. In my opinion it is a hard choice, as I expect companies should want assertive people, problem is where is the undefined line drawn between assertive and obnoxious/know it all? I think this year I should focus on being as professional as possible and find the path to the door that will finally open for me. It sounds silly to say “find the path to the door” but at this point that is where I am. I see no doors opening for me where I am right now, but something tells me that there is a dusty path right in front of me that I should really keep my eyes open for.

Oh yes, I was about to end on that note but one more thing. I found out that I can not have any beer until I am skinny. I really should do my research before starting diets…. well I am 5 days in and I am feeling good, there is no way I am stopping now. In it for the long haul, as they say… I refuse to have another blog in the future where I am on diet try #6… I can have wine at least. In 10 days that is.

1 Comment for this entry

Nissa Nicle
January 6th, 2009 on 11:06 am
Tiff, you’re so smart and personable that I know those doors will open for you! I’m happy that you’re sensing the desire to move forward. Now as long as you have the steam of your own confidence pushing, you’ll get there.

I understand how you feel about assertiveness. There’s something to be said about just being who you are and, like you said, sending it out as professionally as possible.

often hate my time at RD too because I spent two years gaining experience that just pushed me away from what I saw myself doing. Luckily we’re young and have plenty of time and energy to make things right. For me, that’s working 10x as hard to make up the time: and remembering that I learned a lot over the past two years that I might not have known before. Where I think RD helped us (and I can see in you) is that we were given the chance to lead and contribute and sometimes just create and that trust and freedom isn’t often found at bigger companies. You know that you make good decisions as an assertive, outspoken and creative voice: you have the experience to back it up. You can lean on that, and continue to speak even when you think others aren’t listening. They will listen sometime.